Roger's World...

Why Demonize?

It seems like there are so many opinions of how to do things, but more and more, it's being capped off with some hate.  Do people really need to use the term Nazi while describing Obama?  I understand you may have a differing opinion, and that we've got free speech and all, but I wonder how its going to affect us in the future.

I'm a big believer in the power of words - I'll use the word 'challenge' instead of 'problem'.  Or, as opposed to phrasing a question in negative light such as "I don't want to lose my keys", I phrase it as "I want to make sure I keep my keys".  (This is staying away from a 'negative goal'.) 

Some people don't understand the power of words, and it's going to be interesting to see how it will affect our culture in the next decade.  I wonder if, because people are using the terms socialist, Nazi, Communist, etc., that we're really setting ourselves up for those scenarios to reemerge. 

I can safely say that Obama's plan is nothing like Nazi Germany and the 3rd Reich. So do we need to use those words to describe policy that we may not agree with? The demonetization of both the left and right is only going to fuel the fire of hate.  And our country suffers for it.

The questions that each of should be asking are 'How To..." questions: "How can we get this health-care (or economic, or immigration, or whatever) challenged fixed for the greater good of everyone in this country?"  Maybe "How can I help to solve these challenges?" as opposed to "That guy's a scumbag!!!"

We all have an opportunity to make things better, every moment, and every word we utter.  How can we each do more to help the issue at hand, versus cutting down others?  There are millions of brilliant people in the USA.  How can we get them to help us figure these challenges out.  America is the Land of Opportunity - but we must begin to use our resources to accomplish things, not to invent clever ways of spewing hate and vitriol.

I appreciate all the feedback...

Partnerships...

We all have partners in this world.  Sometimes, as in a marriage, they work for a very long time - 30, 40, 50 years or more.  Sometimes, they last for a few weeks, or less.

I've always been fascinated with people that have been able to make relationships last so long. What is the process?  Have they aligned themselves so much with the other person and their values/beliefs/dreams/goals that it just works?  Or have they sacrificed so much of their individual sense of being in order to make it work for such a long time?  Did they get comfortable, give up on their dreams?  Or, have they really figured out some secret that I have yet to understand?  While I do have some very long and very strong friendships lasting a couple of decades, they're not certainly not like a long marriage or business relationship. 

This point was made on several occasions this past week.  One partnership that was several months in development was suddenly cut short by my partner's inability to decide and to act. Fear gripped this man, fear of losing money. So many 'what if's' occupied his thinking, that he was paralyzed from the head down. I saw it coming for a few days, and finally had to cut it off - it was a waste of time. And if I continued to nurture a person gripped by fear, I knew that I, too, would begin to fall into the same trap. So the dissolution comes with a few more lessons learned, and new opportunities unearthed.  For this I'm grateful, and re-energized!

As I continue to build my company, and grow as person, I look forward to all of the lessons that each partnership - the ones lasting a couple of minutes (like meeting people at Starbucks) or ones lasting a lifetime (people I've already known for decades) - will provide - If I'm able to keep an attitude of gratitude, and to continually ask myself the question: "What's GREAT about this??"

Please share your thoughts and insights...

One of THOSE days...

Yesterday was one of those days.  One of those days that you remember where you were, what you were doing, oh so long ago. The day and place when you found out ‘The News’.  Kennedy (I wasn’t here yet). The space shuttle (each one). 911.


August 5th marks the sad anniversary of Jeff Porcaro’s passing. You may not know the name, but you’ve heard the drumming. You’ve felt the groove, You’ve heard it since you were young, and not for anything new for 17 years.


I feel the need to elaborate on who this guy was… and still is.

Jeff was one of the finest drummers of the modern age.  Respected by absolutely everyone for his abilities, and they were numerous, he is known as a musician’s musician of the highest caliber. Sony & Cher at 17, Boz Scaggs at 22, Toto, Don Henley, the Bee Gees, Steely Dan… Google him and find out for whom else he played.  You’ll get a small idea of this genius.
 I say a small idea, because if you’re not a musician, or more so, a drummer, some of what makes Jeff’s playing so special might be lost on you.  A young drummer once said that “It was easy to play those songs.  It’s nothing special.”  He hadn’t yet figured out that it has nothing to do with the amount of notes you play, but how you play each note.  And then I started to understand it.  I started to hear what it was all about.  Just about that time, Jeff passed on. He was 38. Just 3 years younger than I am today.  While I was at Berklee, I had the rarest of rare opportunities: to actually play one of His drum sets!  A red Gretsch kit with a 20’ bass drum.  My friend Abe Laboriel Jr. was close to him - Jeff was a teacher/mentor and allowed Abe the use of his kit while at Berklee.  I got to help set it up many times.  It truly was an honor.  I really wish I would’ve been a better player!  Maybe I’ll get another chance someday.


So I’ve been watching him on youtube quite a bit.  Have a listen:


None of us will ever be that good. OK - maybe if you’re Steve Gadd and you’re reading this - but nobody else.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE on the planet will agree with that, unless they’re on some drug that alters perception/reality. But they’ll sober up and I hope and pray that they’ll get it.  Just as I did 17 years ago.

Lessons Remembered...

Since moving to Palm Springs in September '08, I've had the joy (and sometime frustration) of playing with the John Stanley King band.  I say sometime frustrating, because of my challenges associated with my arm, and having been away from any steady gig for over 5 years - I've been rusty!!

Having played with JSK and Rob Martinez every week since January, things have come together pretty well, all things considered:  The Arm Thing, not rehearsing or even practicing, and only playing once a week.  We sound pretty good most of the time - with some very inspired 'jams' that take us to some places none of us have been before. Its usually a fun time!

Because John is a 'local celebrity' of sorts, playing with him has afforded me a kind of 'instant acceptance' by a lot of the local musicians.  It's a nice change from having to prove and re-prove over and over... I get to play and get my name out with relative ease.

With this, I was approached by a writer for a local entertainment weekly magazine.  They spotlight various entertainers/musicians each week, and it became my time. We did an interview of about an hour over the phone a couple of weeks ago, and I gave him what I thought was the most important information in my education/career.  And I trusted him with the facts - facts I thought I spelled out clearly enough.  I was wrong.

The article came out today.  I found a copy early this morning, and began to read.   I was mildly amused at some of the things that were focused on. Some of the people I played with, some of the spelling, the chronology of events... those types of things.  But when the writer suggested that I was a 'Investment Broker" I realized that it was all MY fault:  I didn't request to proof the interview to double check the facts.  I learned this lesson a long time ago in Orlando while running my own quintet.  I forgot it, and it has come to bite me once more.

This is the last time!  I say that with humility and graciousness to the interviewer, and hope he understands that a quick proof will hep everyone in the short- and long-term.  I now remember why...

People's Favorite Topic...

People love to talk about themselves. And as someone that loves people, I like to think of myself as one who asks questions and engages people on what they want to talk about. Except tonight I was told that I talk about myself.  A lot, apparently.

Wow.  It's a tough thing to hear, given the fact that people love to talk about themselves. And I'm lucky that there's someone that knows there is a safe space to communicate what she's seeing/hearing.

So how does someone grow from this?  By being present to the situation/conversation and not feeling the need to fill gaps.  It's going to be a great lesson in humility, patience, and listening.  Gratitude abounds for my friend that has shared this viewpoint.  And the question begs: "Is there not a safe space for communication between other friends to allow them to let me know this?"  So much richness...  :)

So let's all step back and check in to see if it's all about 'us', or all about 'them'.  It might mean the world of difference to all those we relate to.

Out of my head...

Sometimes, when there's a lot going on in our lives, we get inside our heads a bit to much, and get out of the flow. This happened to me last week on a couple of gigs I was doing here in Palm Springs with the John Stanley King Band.

I wasn't focused entirely on the music, and was allowing other things to influence me while I was playing.  This is a very selfish way to act.  I forgot one of the oldest lessons that all pro musicians preach: "Leave your stuff off the bandstand".

Last night however, I was totally immersed, present, and confident. The band sounded great, adding credence to the other old saying: "A band is only as good (or great) as it's drummer".  It felt great for me, the other guys - John and Rob - and the customers at the gig. Even Bill or bartender/friend/supporter suggested that they give me a new nickname: Thor! 

So hopefully, as we go about our days and weeks, we'll remember to stop being selfish, get out of our heads, and be fully immersed, present, and confident.

Re-Boot...

Well, it's been an interesting 6 months.

Sometimes, we all just need to re-boot.  You know, things get a little too crazy.  All the systems that are 'on' are NOT working together for the common good.  It's really as if the system is so inundated with conflicted messages and incompatible programs.  The only thing you can do is a re-boot.

That's what I just did.

As you may or may not know, it's been 6 months since I left a company that I was with for several years.  I'd invested a lot of time, energy, emotion, and hope into it.  Things started to go well.  Then it stopped.  Things changed.  I was changing.  The company was changing.  We weren't aligned any longer, and it became more and more clear.

Without knowing it, I needed to re-boot.  Get some time with the power off. Disconnect.  And it helped so much that, now, I sit here typing my first blog, getting re-invigorated for anther chapter of this life. 

I'm very excited to share a multitude of thoughts and feelings about many things that are important.  I hope you find it entertaining, educational and empowering.  Please - give any and all feedback. (While this is not focused on any political or religious agenda, please keep in mind that these are topics debated on thousands of other blogs, media outlets and kitchen tables across the globe.  Not really what the goal of this forum is.  Start you own blog if you need to complain! :-) )

So let's jump in...